How to be a 5-Star Wedding Attendant
by casi desarro
The ladies of the wedding party of very important. They not only help the process of the pre-wedding day planning, but also are photographed and should have looks that are beautiful but also allow the bride shine!
Here are some tips for all you lovely ladies of the wedding party:
How to be a 5-Star Maid of Honor
- As the bride’s go-to person, you must be on top of your game at all times and ready to help when needed. From helping to figure out the color details of the wedding, to attending bridal appointments, you will be the shoulder to lean on everyday until the big day!
- Have a group message going with all of the bridesmaids to keep them up to date with all pre-wedding & day-of wedding schedules and plans. The bachelorette party & bridal shower are in your hands! Keep the theme or even colors of the wedding in mind when planning.
- Ask for help from the bride’s mom/stepmom/future mother-in-law, etc. It can be overwhelming to do everything by yourself. Ask the maids to help, too, of course! There are so many helpful websites these days for countdowns and helpful tips, so if you are feeling lost or overwhelmed - Google away! Brides tend to know what they want, or at least a general idea, so it’s always fun to brainstorm together, too.
- At the reception, greet the guests at the wedding and answer any questions they may have. Again, we do not need any added stress for the bride on her big day!
- Have a killer speech! When writing your speech, it probably isn’t a good idea to humiliate the couple. Sometimes depending on their personalities, a little teasing is totally cool, but keep it positive and light. A little added humor makes for a memorable speech, too.
How to be a 5-Star Bridesmaid
- If you agree to become the bride’s bridesmaid, you are committing to buying a dress (and possibly shoes, hair, makeup), along with attending the Bachelorette Party and Bridal Shower. There may also be traveling expenses and even a night or two at a hotel. Make sure you are financially okay to say YES to being her bridesmaid.
- Keep in contact with all of the other bridesmaids and Maid of Honor to make sure you know where to be and when. DO NOT contact the bride asking these things because a lot of the time, the bride is unaware of a possible surprise or she may be a little stressed during the planning process. Again, adding stress for the bride is a big no-no.
- Be ready to help the bride handle the nerves leading up to the wedding and the day-of jitters. Little excitable texts are a nice quick way to send good vibes her way. Have a glass of champagne with her before heading down the aisle to celebrate tying the knot!
- Stay positive and do not complain to the bride. She should absolutely not have to deal with your silly issues. How about you help with HERS. It’s just the way it goes. When you are a bride someday, you can complain all you want! Keep the drama low-key.
- Wear waterproof mascara. True love is a sentimental thing.
How to be a 5-Star Mother of the Wedding
- When helping the bride with planning, definitely give your advice as long as you do not overstep the boundaries. It’s natural as a mom to take control, but make sure you are helping the bride create HER dream day. This includes choosing her dress, flowers, colors, bridesmaid dresses, venue, etc. Help her vision come to life.
- Avoid common retail stores such as J. Crew, Nordstrom's or Macy’s when looking for your dress. You will most likely end up wearing something similar or exactly the same as a guest at the wedding. And we could never have that!
- The second most formally dressed person at the wedding is the mother of the bride. As the bride’s mom, you need to purchase your dress after your daughter purchases hers. You should not necessarily color coordinate exactly with the bridesmaids, but it is perfectly okay if the color is along the same line. A little sparkle and lace go a long way. The Mother of the Groom should follow, keeping in mind that the Mother of the Bride should be first when choosing a dress. And please, avoid white or ivory at all costs!
- A floor length gown definitely will help you stand out as a mother of the wedding. A lot of times, moms are hesitant with floor length gowns because they think they are too fancy for the venue, but keep in mind they are most likely to be appropriate no matter how “fancy” you think the day will be. Spruce yourself up, these photos will be around for a long time!!!
- There’s nothing wrong with a little tough love if a Bridezilla emerges. If your daughter is driving everyone out of control, try to tame her down a bit and maybe have a nice mother-daughter (planning-free) day! Mani-pedi’s anyone?
For All of the Ladies
- If you attend the bride’s appointment to find her dress, no negative comments are needed. As a bridal stylist, I have had brides LOVE a dress and then get crushed by the opinions of her mom/bridesmaid/etc. This is devastating to watch and is one of the worst things you can do. Support the bride with what she loves and please let the bride speak about each dress she tries on before you chime in with any kind of negative comment. This is super important and can make or break the big moment when the bride finds her dress!
- Please refrain from being the crazy drunk person at the wedding. You ladies are a big part of the day, so stay classy!
- Bridesmaid dresses and Mother of the Wedding dresses take time to order (several months, usually). Make sure you are ahead of schedule and take into account the time you will need for alterations, too.
- Try not to go MIA during the planning process and of course on the day of the wedding. If the bride is in need, just be there for her.
- But don’t forget to HAVE FUN. There will be lots of planning, preparation and nuttiness before the bride walks down the aisle. It will all be worth it and before you know it, you’ll be dancing the night away!